"Right" Side of the Bed

Getting Up on the “Right” side of the Bed (January 15th, 2010)


So, it is late and I am sitting here trying to put my words on paper and don’t really know where to begin….

Yesterday was a horrible day…it started off wrong and ended wrong.
So, determined, I went to bed and I WAS going to get up on the “right” side of the bed tomorrow…

My daughter’s fiancée found out last night that he would be leaving for Haiti today to help with the repair of things after the earthquake. It ended up that he was not going to have to leave until Saturday and that is what started the ball rolling….

The wedding is just 5 weeks away from today and the unknown of whether Chad would be back in time or not began to set in for Alyssa. We started talking about getting the marriage license in time for the wedding… how and if all that could happen. The next thing I know…Alyssa is calling me to say they are just going to go to the court house and get married…just them…WOW!
I didn’t know what to say…I thought I was ok with it. I called Scott…He was speechless. He asked that I let him know….keep him updated. I sent a text to Alyssa. I wanted to be there.

I tried to explain my feelings, to explain that it meant the world to me to be there. NO, this wasn’t their wedding…but still, they were “getting married”. This is my little girl…spreading her wings…flying away…leaving our home…It mattered…It mattered more that I realized!

I was there…Scott and I did get to go….and now here we are.

At home.

There is happiness for her.

Sadness for us.

Pride for who she has become.

Worry for who she will be.

Deep love for all of us.

I hear her sisters & brother say it doesn’t seem real….cuz they weren’t there. I hear Alyssa say…it’s not “really” my wedding. I understand her. I understand them. I am happy for her. I am sad for them.

I am torn between two sets of feelings and torn between my children. I am their mother and my heart is in two….

So, did I get up on the “right” said of the bed?

NO….
and Yes….

Today was my daughter’s wedding day….


January 17th, 2010

It's a better day today! We have talked, prayed, laughed, cried and heard God say "Be Still! I am God"..."Trust in Me!" We are happy for Alyssa & Chad and look forward to seeing what God is going to do through and for them.

Life goes on for us all....and has begun for them...

I love you Alyssa...always and forever...unconditionally....to the moon and back again!

What is love?

...and now these three remain, faith, hope and love. But the great of these is love.

So, I was asked the other day by someone dear to my heart..."What is true love?" I have really been thinking about that lately and have a few thoughts, but not sure if this is my definition or something that we could all define as "true love"...

I have had the joy of watching my oldest daughter "fall in love" and find the one that God has placed in her life to be her husband. I think that is what has gotten him (my husband) thinking about the meaning of true love and it makes me think back to the first time that I KNEW that Scott was the one for me, my true love.

The day I saw the young boy that I had "loved" changed into a man. The day that he sent me my promise ring safety pinned to a card. The day he took me to overlook the beautiful city and asked me to be his wife. The day I saw him at the end of the aisle, waiting for me to become his wife. I never thought I could love him any more that I did...each and every one of those times. And now, here it is 21 years, 5 months and 3 days later and guess what? I love him even more today than I did then.

But...I know that this love, this long time love, is a different love than it was 20 years ago. This is the love that has withstood babies, toddlers, preteens and now teenagers. Loss of family members & friends. A season without a job, a time that we were so disconnected and really weren't much of a family. Living our lives without God & finally coming back to Him. Times of heartache and pain, joy and sorrow, laughter and tears. It was not an easy road, but I know that I can look back now and know that God placed each and every one of those things in my life for a reason.

It showed me the meaning of true love.

In my husband, my best friend, I found true love. He was my rock, when I couldn't stand. He was my comfort, when the tears kept falling. He was my laughter, when I didn't think I could smile anymore. He was my friend, when everyone turned their back on me. He was my soldier, fighting a battle, when I wanted to give up.

And you know what I started thinking about?...

In my God, my Heavenly Father, I also found true love. Because this is what GOD does for me...every day! Can you believe that? He does this for ME...for YOU!

He never gives up. He keeps loving and forgiving and asking me to come back. No matter how much I hurt Him, how much I forget about Him...HE IS RIGHT THERE! With arms held open wide...forgiving me again and again and again. I have learned through my husband, my marriage and MY GOD the meaning of

TRUE LOVE!

My First Attempt

My daughter, Mel and my dear friend, Stephanie, have inspired me to begin to write. This is a new adventure for me and a new goal for the new year...to share my thoughts, write my dreams and show you what God is doing in my life.

I look back over the last year and see God's hand in each time we jumped with joy, every time we shed a tear of sadness, every time we cried out for help and every time we rejoiced with thanksgiving. He was there...holding our hearts, capturing our tears and wrapping His arms around us to hold us tight. It was a year full of many good things, as well as many sad things. But now, sitting here in this new year, I can look back and honestly say that I SEE GOD IN ALL OF IT! How can I be anything but thankful that He loves unconditionally, that He forgives, that He gives second chances?!

I love Him with all of my heart and I hope that He will use me...use the brokeness, the joy, the sorrow, the hurt, the pain, the laughter, the love, the past, the present and the future..Use ALL OF IT for His glory that others will see Jesus in me. Not see me, but see HIM IN me.

He is the reason I am here today and the reason that I have the most wonderfully incredible life...