Trusting God...

Trusting God...what does this mean to me?
Why do I seem to be faced with this over and over again?
Maybe because it's hard for me?
Maybe because I haven't learned this to the fullest extent?
I don't know...
and yet, here I am again...
facing a difficult decision and trying to figure out what to do...

I have been given an ultimatum...I talked to my husband, I thought we had made a decision based on a few factors and yet, I was "punched in the gut" (the words of my daughter), by something someone said to me this morning...

"You need to trust God! When you do what honors Him, He will bless you! You may have to take a leap of faith in order to get this blessing, but in the end, He will take care of you!"

You see, I should KNOW this! I was faced with a difficult decision a few years ago, and you know what....I trusted Him then, and He blessed me...I put my faith in Him and He showed me that He is faithful...I let Him be first and He took care of me. He BLESSED me in more ways that I could even begin to imagine. My pastor read this morning that God knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows when the sparrow falls. Then how much more will my Heavenly Father take care of me?

I began to get excited and down right scared at the thought of what this might look like. Of what it "could" mean for me... for my family.
I cannot lie....
it freaked me out...
it made me panic...
it excited me...
it made me think...

I thought that my decision was made. I thought I knew what I "had" to do. I thought it was all figured out. But, guess what? I am second guessing my decision.

WHY?!

If I change and go the other direction, it will not only effect me, it will effect my family, our finances, our lives...BUT, it will be a leap of faith...it will be putting my family first...it will be...

TRUSTING GOD.
COMPLETELY.
WHOLLY.
WITH ALL THAT I AM.
TRUSTING.

Does He have more for me that I may miss out on? Does He have a better plan? If I stick with my original decision, will I miss out on His blessings for me, for my family? Is this me and my selfish desires that are taking over? Is it Him?

I have been praying throughout the day...I have been asking God,
"What are you telling me?"
"What am I supposed to do?"

The answer is not yet clear, but I know that if I am seeking Him, no matter what I choose, He will bless me. I am confused right now and I am asking Him to show me, to reveal to me what He is trying to teach me through this entire situation. I pray that it will be completely clear...completely revealed...

God give me the eyes to see and the ears to hear WHATEVER it is to learn this lesson that I have yet to learn...

"TRUST ME" ~ GOD